I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
