They should really pass out barf bags in church
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
