I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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