Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
wow bdsm is so cute
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
