The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Randomize
