There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
