Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
