Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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