Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
