careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
