How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
