I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
