what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
