can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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