i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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