I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
