I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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