I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
