Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
