the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
