Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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