Fuck appropriateness.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
