Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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