I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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