Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
