does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
