You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
