I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The air taste purple.
Randomize
