my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
this beer tastes like vomit already
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
