scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
