Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
