I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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