So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
