the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
