What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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