i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
