you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
