ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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