i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
