i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This gyro tastes like lonliness
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
