Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
