Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He felt like a one man threesome
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
