They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
