And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
