My brain says no but my pants say off.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize