is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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