i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
