Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
