Me. At least after what I've been through.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
