now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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