Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
