Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I supernannyed him into submission
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
